Mom's Side of the Family The Bastard Child in the Early 20th Century

During the eighteenth, nineteenth, and early twentieth century’s, thousands of German immigrants settled in the Midwest regions including Ohio. This was the case of my mother’s side of the family the Dessauer's. My Mother, Margaret, born in 1934 was the product of an unwed mother, which in those days was simply unacceptable. For the first couple of years of her life, Margaret was placed in an orphanage while a suitable husband was found for my grandmother. Once she was wed, Margaret was removed from the orphanage and taken to the family home in Cincinnati Ohio, where she lived most of the time with her own grandparents. When she was with her grandparents, my mother was a happy child showered with love.

The family lived in a big house on the top of a hill on the end of a block. The front yard had dozens of whitewashed trees and woods in the back. My mother loved the times she spent with her grandparents. She would explore the woods, climb the trees, and spent every moment she could playing outside in the wilderness. Her grandma and grandpa loved her dearly and treated her like their own daughter. She would spend hours listening to her grandfather tell stories of the old country and she never wanted to leave the saftey and comfort of grandparents home. Her great grandmother also lived in the family home and my mother would tell me story after story of this amazing woman. How she divorced her husband at a time when divorce was unheard of. How she would bang the pots and pans in the kitchen when she wanted to make a point. And how she was so independent at a time when most women were still considered chattel. These memoried where the ones that kept my mother growing. However, when her parents were in the picture, life took a darker turn.

Her parents spent a lot of time traveling and did not take my mother with them. Her stepfather was considered a great man for being willing to marry my Grandma. What no one knew was that from the time her daughter Margaret was a young girl her stepfather had his way with her. When he was not molesting her, she was the target of physical abuse, while her own mother stepped aside and let the actions continue. She never questioned him even when he still insisted on bathing Margaret at the age of 13. Her own shame kept her from intervening to help my mother. I remember the turmoil my mother suffered from the rest of her life because of this abuse. This lasted until Margaret made her way out of the home at the age of 18 to find a better place in life. The day she left, her stepfather told her never to come back. It was many years before she did return.

It's not real clear what my mother did for the next few years, but based on our conversations before her death, this is what it looks like.

Age 18 leaves Ohio and sets out for New York.
Finds a place to sleep in a small New York apartment with several roommates.
Works part time as a cheesecake model and professional escort to survive.
Spends most of her time in the nightclubs.
Meets my father sometime in her early twenties.